Have You Heard ?… (5) Grace Jones, with Sly and Robbie, 80s style

Posted on December 23, 2011 by John S

I was tubing it into to work today, on the Piccadilly Line, a bit weary.  Nearly Christmas, time for a break.  Reading the Guardian on my iPad, I felt like something upbeat, but not too raucous.  I flipped through my playlists and settled on ten from Grace Jones.  From the early eighties, funky, strident, a little robotic. Unusual.

She has had her spats over the years. Confrontations with the media. But do I care?  No.  What I care about is the music.

She’s still going, still entertaining, still provoking; but for me it was when she teamed up with the great reggae rhythm team, Sly Dunbar and Robbie Shakespeare, in the early eighties, that she struck gold.  Three outstanding albums on the Island label: ‘Warm Leatherette” in 1980, “Nightclubbing” in 1981 and “Living My Life” in 1982.

“Warm Leatherette”, the title track of that first album, was a sharp cover of a rather sleazy electro thing by a band called The Normal. Which they absolutely weren’t.  Grace turned it into something funky and bass heavy that sounded a bit like the Talking Heads.  That is a very good thing. Roxy Music’s “Love Is The Drug” was turned into a frantic dance with Grace’s straining voice giving it a sense of angst and edginess as opposed to the loucheness of the original.  And, best of all, “Private Life” was a lazy electro-funk that worked perfectly with Grace’s mechanical voice.  I can’t help but feel she could be the woman on the Sat Nav if it had a musical accompaniment.  When I first heard “Private Life” on “Warm Leatherette” I didn’t realise that the original was by the Pretenders, from their first album.  It’s good there too – a bit more tender.  Grace turns it into something quite different, something quite dark and sleazy – Roxy Music would understand. With Sly and Robbie giving it a bit of the reggae-rock-rhythm in the background.  So all sorts of ways of appreciating it. It’s a masterpiece.

“Nightclubbing” was more of the same, and so just as good.  The title track was a cover of an Iggy Pop song from his Bowie/Berlin period. Quite faithful to the original, but with a hint of dub rhythm  in the background. The great track on the album for me was “Pull Up To The Bumper”, a really funky, swampy song which would have been just perfect for the fashion catwalk. Again, you just imagine the Talking Heads doing this one. It’s probably my favourite Grace Jones track.  Made for dance.

“Living My Life” was full of tracks that stretched out into brilliant twelve inch singles.  The best was “My Jamaican Guy”, which had Sly and Robbie banging out the kind of rhythm that powered along so many of the great early eighties reggae dance tunes.  Likewise “Nipple to the Bottle”. “The Apple Stretching” was more languid, closer to reggae, celebrating New York City. All songs for the chill out hours of the night club.

After the three albums  came  “Slave to The Rhythm”. It was the culmination of all that had gone before.  Funky, punchy, with that flighty eighties dance feel.  Tots of treble in amongst the bass rhythms.  The eighties was trebly.  Even tinny. With a yuppie coffee table groove.  “Slave To The Rhythm” was the end of my affair with Grace Jones’s music. But it was good while it lasted.

I couldn’t claim to listen to Grace Jones a lot.  But when I do,  think, wow, these songs are so cool. That fusion of funk, the essence of the reggae rhythm, as delivered by Sly and Robbie, the robo-voice and the eighties shiny pop sheen is really engaging. they are songs very much of their time, but with a musical quality that makes them stand up to today’s standards.  It’s Sly and Robbie – one of the greatest rhythm sections of all time, in any genre of music, who deliver.  While reggae was their day job, Grace Jones was one of their crowning glories. And Grace herself, originally a model, fused the glamour and emotional detachment of the fashion world with the funk and reggae and early eighties electro in a way which was truly distinctive.

There’s never been anyone else quite like Grace Jones. Check those three albums – they are all classics.

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Bryan Ferry at the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, 14 December 2011

Posted on December 21, 2011 by John S

Went with my friend Jon to see Bryan Ferry last week.  Great venue, the Shepherds Bush Empire.  Medium size, standing on the ground floor. Plenty of bars. You can see the band close up and enjoy a beer. And the atmosphere is always good.

I’d seen Roxy Music at the O2 – the Dome – in February this year, with Jon and another friend Dave. We are all massive Roxy fans from the seventies.  A time when Roxy were just out there, radical, innovative, unlike anyone else. And the fantastic thing about the O2 concert was that the re-formed band – with Ferry, Manzanera, MacKay, Thompson all there (no Eno) – delved into those classic years.  They even played “In Every Dream Home A Heartache”, which I think must be the greatest Roxy Music song.  And “Amazona”, whose rhythm has been sampled by Ice-T, the rapper, for one of his great tunes,  “That’s How I’m Living”.

The music was brilliantly played, the songs were spot on. Maaaaaan…. they finished with “Virginia Plain”, “Love Is The Drug”, “Editions Of You”, “Do The Strand” and “For Your Pleasure”.  For us fifty-somethings, this was absolutely perfect. The original Roxy classics, brilliantly delivered.

The majority of the crowd at the O2, though, were just a generation below.  This became clear when, after an amazing start when the band worked through some seventies classics, they turned to the eighties. The crowd erupted: “Same Old Scene”, “Avalon”, “Jealous Guy”  (the John Lennon song which Ferry took over, whistling and all).

The set list of that O2 concert is here with a click. Setlist.fm link to the songs as well.  A great service.

The eighties touch was something that Bryan brought into his solo concert.  There was a wonderful range of songs from all eras.  But the eighties provided the bedrock – “The Main Thing”, “Slave To Love”, “Don’t Stop The Dance”, “Oh Yeah” “Avalon”, amongst others. We diehards got some seventies treats, like “If There Is Something” off the first “Roxy Music” album. And we had “Love Is The Drug” towards the end.  I was happy.

Ferry looked great in his black suit and white shirt, which he changed to black half way through. The hair, still jet black, must be dyed, but he remains the epitome of cool.  He always wore a suit better than anyone else, and had the best haircut, and I think he still does. His band were superb musicians. They included Chris Spedding on guitar – the man of whom it is said, he played guitar on the Sex Pistols’ “Never Mind the Bollocks”. He looked uncomfortable, but rocked.  The other guitarist, the younger man, Oliver Thompson, looked good and rocked. The star though was Jorja Chalmers, who did the Andy Mackay thing, with an array of wind instruments.  Played with an acute feel for the spirit of Roxy.  And she looked like a Roxy Music woman, with her smart bob and stylish outfit. Perfect!

The concert ended on a real high. “Love Is The Drug”, a rousing “Let’s Stick Together” and a moving “Jealous Guy”. The encore was ‘Hold On I’m Coming”, an old soul classic, and then a Velvet Underground special, “What Goes On”.  Impeccable choices.

It was all more than I was hoping for.  I thought there’d be loads of new stuff, from the album “Olympia”. It’s not a bad album, and we got a couple from it, but Bryan had figured out his audience and given us a lovely spread from throughout his career.  It really was a joy.

What’s so good about the likes of Bryan Ferry, and Paul McCartney, who I also saw recently, is that they have come to terms with their past, have taken ownership of their back catalogue, and are playing their classic songs with pride and adventure. It is giving new life and texture to those songs.

It’s giving nostalgia a good name!

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Sportsthoughts (6) – the immensity of the Heineken Cup

Posted on December 19, 2011 by John S

Winter’s drawing in, the darkness comes early, there’s a deep chill in the air.  A perfect excuse for staying at home all Saturday afternoon and watching Sky Sports’ rugby coverage, with a dip in and out to check the football.

And then on Sunday, the big one, Quins at Toulouse, having been taught a lesson at the Stoop the previous weekend. Lose and that’s it as far as the Heineken is concerned this season.

I did a bit of shopping Saturday lunch time, enjoyed a bacon sandwich in the Poco Loco in Ealing Broadway and made my way back for a triple header.  Some Christmas decorations to put up, but otherwise, rugby, rugby, rugby until we went out to a party in the evening. The kids all out and about, so no competition for the telly.  Sky Sports HD here I come!

First up was Leicester vs Clermont Auvergne.  The previous week the French team had beaten Leicester emphatically, 30-12. I watched the game, saw the array of international players in Clermont’s team, after seeing Toulouse beat Quins, and thought, we can’t cope with the money in French rugby. But back at Leicester it was always going to be different.  The game was intense, brutal, the lead changing hands, some good running rugby, but mostly an epic forward battle.  My lasting image of the game is Leicester’s hirsute Italian, Martin Castrogiovanni (great name), front row forward,  piling into the Clermont defence again and again with no regard for personal safety.  It’s the role of the forward ball carrier.  The day job.  But it seemed mighty, heroic.  Leicester took their cue from him and scraped through, 23-19.

Next was the other game in Quins’ group, Gloucester vs Connacht.   The Irish team are regarded as one of the weaker teams in the competition, but they gave Quins a fright at the Stoop, and they did the same at Gloucester. In fact they were ahead for most of the game, looking good. But then, what was it, fitness, nerve, ability? All three?  Gloucester got back into the game and edged through.  23-19, same as the Leicester-Clermont game.

And then it was Leinster vs Bath in Dublin.  Leinster are the best team in Europe at the moment. And it showed.  They tore Bath to pieces. Every aspect of their game was awesome. They won 52-27. Bath got some late points when Leinster took their foot off the gas. It was as comprehensive a victory as you will get between teams from the top leagues. It’s hard to see who can stop Leinster winning another Heineken Cup.  Quins? Let’s dream on.

And so on to today’s game.  After the defeat at home last week, it didn’t seem that likely that Quins could get a result in Toulouse.  But a bit of me felt, Quins will learn, Toulouse may get complacent, the French are always capable of falling apart (national stereotype comment)… and Quins are very good. 100% win record before the Toulouse game.  You don’t lose that overnight.

I didn’t watch the game live.  I wanted to go for a cycle while the weather was good  and then had to do the Waitrose run. But I managed to avoid the result and settled down to watch the game at 7pm.

It was amazing.  Quins were under the cosh for so much of the time. Toulouse are big and brutal. Their scrum is more powerful. But Quins held on and were incredibly sharp every time an opportunity arose.  Their defence was astounding. Tries were prevented at the last gasp, tackles forced potential try scorers into touch, bodies somehow put themselves in the way of touchdowns in the try line pile ups. It was the stuff that will enter into Quins’ folklore.

And Quins scored three tries, all grasping the opportunity, great passing, sharp lines of running, chasing down the high balls.  The latter featured Tom Williams, on as a sub, having not featured much in the team this year, great player though he is. There was anger in the energy that he showed when he came on, and he made a couple of interventions which helped to win the game, including the chase down on Vincent Clerc, after a kick off from Nev.

Who were the heroes? Well the whole team.  But every time we won a turnover, Chris Robshaw seemed to be at the heart of it. As he always is. George Robson made an unbelievable tackle to stop Servat getting a try, Nick Easter was doing all sorts of clever things, some probably not legal, and he did eventually get a yellow card. But I’d probably make full back Mike Brown man of the match, as he has been so often this season. Not only did he score two superb tries, appearing in the line at the perfect moment, but he made an outstanding try-saving tackle on Vincent Clerc, who looked like he was through in the second half.

And Nick Evans was amazing, as ever. In the objective points discussion, he would be the man of the match. Kicked almost everything, whereas Toulouse missed a number of sitters, McAlister and then Doussain. In fact, Quins were a bit lucky, because Toulouse had enough penalties to win the game quite easily.  But they blew them.  The intensity of the game at Heineken level exposes any weaknesses in temperament.

So come on you Quins!

But also, four immense games of rugby.  Intense, physical, twisting and turning, the different cultures coming together.  Magnificent competition.  And played in a spirit that football could really learn from, if it wanted to.

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Music – my best of 2011

Posted on December 14, 2011 by John S

As we approach Christmas, music nerds everywhere feel the urge to compile their lists of the best albums, tracks, events and so on.  The magazines and papers lead the way.  I love it. I like to check whether I’m in with the zeitgeist or whether there’s anything good that I’ve missed.  There usually is, but no harm in catching up.

The benchmark, still, is the NME top 50 albums. As I’ve said before, they do tend to get it right. In the past I’ve usually had seven or eight of the top ten, twenty or so of the top thirty already.  Not surprising when the NME  is my guide throughout the year.  But this year it’s different.  I seem to have lost touch.  I have only bought three of the top ten: “Let England Shake” by PJ Harvey, “Skying” by the Horrors and “Suck It And See” by the Arctic Monkeys”. Numbers 1, 3 and 6, respectively.

Why is this?  The main reason, I think, is that I’ve been preoccupied with my book about my musical journey.  As I write I listen to the bands and singers I am writing about. I’ve been on a voyage of rediscovery.  Eurythmics, Tom Waits, John Martyn, Van Morrison, Prince, are just a few of the artists that I’ve really delved back into, as part of my writing.  And Bob Dylan reasserted himself as the poet, the master. That didn’t leave too much room for new sounds or new artists, who were always going to pale by comparison.

And yeah, I do think, indie – the NME staple – is going through a lean patch. It’s all a bit indistinct, a bit wimpy, veering towards pop.  Nothing wrong with pop. Love it.  But indie needs to rock a bit more.  The Vaccines did a decent Strokes impression (better than the Strokes in fact) but that was about as good as it got for me.  The Arctic Monkeys I haven’t really listened to properly yet, but it didn’t demand that I did.  Likewise Kasabian with “Velociraptor”.  And I really wanted to like Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds album, but I just found it pleasant.  There wasn’t a track that leapt out and hit me on the head. Reports suggest he does a great live show, and I’m sure that’s true. But the album was Oasis-lite.

I’m left with two albums that I really did love.  The first is the PJ Harvey album. When it came out I bought it, liked it, admired the concept.  A kind of striving for the essence of England.  Who are we, who were we, how do we resolve our inner conflicts? I didn’t linger initially.  But seeing the NME put it number one made me listen again.  And I started to get the intensity of the music, the shards of melody, the sense of an English folk history interspersed with sounds from around the world.  And Polly’s voice, distinctive, frail and assertive all at once. I feel her sound is rooted in the West Country – there’s a spirituality about it which isn’t London or urban. (And yes, it is where she is from).  I’ve spent a bit of time in Dorset and Glastonbury and I can feel the essence of those places in the music.  The essence of England. Old England. These days we jump more than ever at individual songs.  “Let England Shake” needs to be appreciated as a whole piece.  Dare I say it… a concept album?

The second album, and my album of the year, is “The King Of Limbs” by Radiohead.  In some ways it’s a slight piece.  Eight songs, no big riffs or stadium choruses. Similar, on first listening,  to Thom Yorke’s solo album, “The Eraser”.  Much keyboard noodling and warps.  Low key, downbeat.  Yes, all those things, but beautiful, intriguing, uplifting too. Like PJ Harvey’s album, it’s one that works really well as a whole.  The sounds drift and swirl, seep into your consciousness, like the fog in T.S.Eliot’s “The Love Song Of Alfred J Prufrock”, that licked its tongue into the corners of the evening.

The two songs which for me make a good album great are towards the end: “Codex” and “Give Up The Ghost”. Both just sound incredibly sad.  Thom Yorke’s voice is so fragile, yearning.  The music simple and haunting. I play those two songs again and again. Here’s a video of “Give Up The Ghost”. Fast forward one minute to skip the chat, if you want to get straight to the music.

But it’s all about tracks now. Well, it always was – it’s just easier to pick them out now.  A Steve Jobs legacy: you don’t have to buy an album to get a favourite track.

There are five tracks that really stand out for me this year.  Four mark an important development for me – songs where I find myself liking the same thing as my children, who got there first.  Whether they are so pleased is another matter!

The outstanding example is “The A Team” by Ed Sheeran.  Yeah, I knew who he was.  Friends told me he was really good at Latitude.  But it was only when my son asked me if  knew how to play the song that my interest awoke. I went on the internet and found the chords and discovered it was a lovely song to play.  A similar chord progression to that used a lot by the likes of Oasis and Coldplay – and Robbie Williams. But subtle and wistful in its delivery. I played it again and again on guitar and the iPod.  It’s a sad song – a teenage breakdown basically.  Sad but beautiful – a classic pop combination.  It is my song of 2011.

The next is a dance track, the best I’ve heard for ages.  It may have come out in 2010, but for me it’s 2011.  “Beautiful People” by Chris Brown.  A multitude of mixes, but one of the most rousing House tunes I’ve heard for a very long time.  That’s it. Nothing profound, just a air punching anthem.  And you can reduce it to a rather lovely minor key acoustic piece on guitar as well.  It has melody as well as rhythm.

When I take the girls in the car these days, it has to be Capital Radio. My ancient cassettes (in our ancient car) are firmly rejected.  It was on one such journey that I first heard what seemed like a radical electro tune by Capital’s bland soul-pop day time standards. The song seemed to be about the G6.  I thought, it can’t be the G6, the economic superpowers. It wasn’t.  I’m still not sure what it was about, but “Like a G6” by   Far East Movement had a great warped electro beat and some silly lyrics about drinking.   It was the beat that did it for me.

Tinie Tempah’s “Pass Out” came out in 2010, but Capital keeps playing the top songs for months and I caught up with it this year.  What I love about this song is its fusion of sounds: dance to the fore with some rapid BPMs, but also some serious dub reggae interventions.  It is the dub echoes aligned to the dubstep and TT’s humorous lyrics – I’ve been to Southampton but I’ve never been to Scunthorpe –  that makes the song special for me.

And that leaves Cornershop with “United Provinces Of India”. It has the perfect combination of Indian song and dance with a funky Western electro beat. It is truly infectious.  Cornershop have been making great, inventive, eclectic music for years.  This is one of their best.

That reminds me of one of my best musical experiences of the year, which was a visit to the “Mela” music festival in Gunnersbury Park, West London, in August.  Sponsored by O2 and the BBC, it was a huge festival of Indian music, focusing on the modern fusion between Bhangra and the club sounds of London. It was brilliant. The main stage peaked with Jay Sean returning from his success in the US; but for me the best thing was watching the heavy dance sounds being belted out in some of the smaller tents. The music a fascinating fusion of East and West, all being played by blokes with computers. And the young lads from Southall and elsewhere in their gangsta gear going wild. Moving effortlessly between traditional and modern beats. Security guards looking on suspiciously.  Dare I say it, the girls watching from the fringes. Very little dancing together. This for me was an insight into a London culture I just wouldn’t normally see.  I felt privileged to be there.  Excited by the music – fascinated by the action.  The heartbeat of West London. Brilliant.

So, 2011, was heavy on nostalgia for me because of the book; but Capital and the Mela experience sorted me out. Musically, the youth always know best.

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Sportsthoughts (5) – lessons to be learned

Posted on December 11, 2011 by John S

Once again El Clasico – the clash between Barcelona and Real Madrid – showed us how football should be played. People fancied Madrid this time, and they scored in the first minute  But slowly Barca wove their patterns and pounced. First Messi to Alexis, 1-1.  Then Xavi’s tentative shot which went in off Marcelo’s arm. 2-1. And then a fantastic move which was actually quite English.  Alves gets the ball down the right channel, whips in a brilliant low cross and Fabregas is in there with a diving header. Just like watching Spurs! 3-1 to Barca in the cauldron of the Bernabaeu.

Man of the match surely Iniesta. Absolutely everywhere. The golden triangle – Xavi, Iniesta, Messi. There is nothing like it anywhere else.  But all footballers should study what they do and think about what they could learn from the way they play.

It was fascinating to see how Barca are playing Fabregas too.  He is getting a lot of games, but playing in an advanced position.  It looked last night like he was in the David Villa position, wide left in the attacking three – or should I say, the most attacking three. At time it left him a bit peripheral, compared with his central role at Arsenal.  A bit like Villa – never quite at the centre of things. But when he got the ball he was dangerous, and the goal was outstanding.

On a different planet, West Ham were losing 3-0 to Reading.  Lesson:  don’t get two men sent off. It’s hard to get a result with nine men. Fortunately Southampton only drew, as did main pursuers Cardiff.  But it’s looking like the pressure is starting to tell.  Hopefully just a Championship wobble.

In the rugby, Quins finally lost a game and were taught a lesson by one of the masters of Heineken Cup rugby, Toulouse.  21-10 to the French at the Stoop on Friday evening.  Quins’ running rugby just didn’t work against a team that seemed bigger, stronger, faster.  They didn’t try anything too fancy, just snuffed out Quins’ attacks, punched holes through the middle and sent it out wide for a couple of killer tries.  Quins didn’t play badly: they just didn’t seem to have the same know how, the same poise.  Can they absorb some lessons and strike back at Toulouse next weekend?  Hard to imagine, but you never know.

Man Utd learnt a lesson too this week.  Even when you are Man Utd don’t take the Champions League for granted. They were in one of the easiest groups, but clearly did not take Basel seriously enough in the first game.  And so the last game became crucial.  Still shouldn’t have lost, but obviously going through a difficult phase.  There will be acres of print written about the demise of Utd now.  They will probably go and win the Premier League just to spite everyone – if City slip. I like the idea of Utd playing Stoke in the Europa though, should the draw do the dirty.  That will rub the lesson in.

City went out of the Champions League too.  A trifle unlucky, having won ten points. Lesson: play best team in all Euro-games.  They didn’t against Napoli – Aguero and Nasri on the bench. I suspect this season they are happy enough.  Winning the Premier League is the key step. That will give them the credibility, the sense of worth and identity, to move on and conquer all before them.

Just the mighty Barca in their way!

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Paul McCartney at the O2, 5 December

Posted on December 6, 2011 by John S

What an amazing concert. Macca on fantastic form: looking good, singing beautifully, rocking out.  Superb backing band, and, er, decent back catalogue.  The set list speaks for itself.

Hello Goodbye

Junior’s Farm – Wings

All My Loving

Jet – more Wings, off Band On The Run

Drive My Car

Sing the Changes  – a recent Fireman song

The Night Before – one of my all time favourites

Let Me Roll It  – off Band On The Run, another absolute favourite,  with a bit of Hendrix’s Foxy Lady thrown in

Paperback Writer – how good does this get?

The Long and Winding Road

Come And Get It – the number one hit they wrote for Badfinger

Nineteen Hundred and Eight Five – Wings

Maybe I’m Amazed – early solo McCartney, passionate

I’ve Just Seen A Face – off Help

I Will

Blackbird – protest song, apparently; got a huge cheer

Here Today – ode to John

Dance Tonight – recent rock’n’roll song with mandolin – gotta let him play something new!

Mrs Vandebilt – Wings (Oh, eh, oh!)

Eleanor Rigby – yeah, just Eleanor Rigby

Something – started on the ukelele – tribute to George

Band on the Run – loved it!

Ob-La-Di Ob-La-da

Back In The USSR – those Ukraine girls bound to feature in next year’s Euro Championship coverage

I’ve Got A Feeling

A Day In The Life/ Give Peace a Chance – yes, I’ve heard Paul McCartney sing Day In The Life!

Let It Be

Live and Let Die – spectacular – fireworks’n’all

Hey Jude – what to say?  Anthemic

First encore

The Word (from Rubber Soul) and All You Need Is Love and more than a hint of She Loves You

Day Tripper – rocked!

Get Back – Ronnie Wood joined in

Second encore 

Yesterday  – I’ve heard Macca sing Yesterday!

Helter Skelter – wild

Golden Slumbers/ Carry That Weight/ The End – that brilliant ending to Abbey Road.  Fantastic conclusion to tonight’s show

A feast, a privilege.

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Sportsthoughts (4)… How did we lose that?

Posted on December 3, 2011 by John S

I went to my first West Ham game of the season today. The visitors mid-table Burnley.  Fellow claret and blue wearers. Favourite team of famed spin doctor, Alastair Campbell. League champions in 1960, still a good side in the early seventies, when I remember them as being good to watch. But mostly lower leagues since then.  West Ham in good form, with an away win against Middlesborough on Tuesday a real sign that they and Southampton might break away from the chasers, and secure those automatic promotion slots.

So it was all set up for a reverse! Which duly arrived…

I don’t go to Upton Park all that much these days because I’m a season ticket holder at Harlequins rugby and the games often clash.  The Stoop doesn’t have the same scale as Upton Park, but it has a great atmosphere, and good beer (which you can take to the seats) and fans from both sides mingle happily.  And we see top quality rugby. And I get there in half an hour rather than an hour an a half.  But I still love going to Upton Park, this strange edifice with a tacky castle at the front, plonked in the middle of a run down bit of the East End, which these days is predominantly Asian in its make up.  Halal butchers nestle with the chip shops that serve the football fans.

We love our history at West Ham, forever celebrating the era of Bobby Moore, Geoff Hurst and Martin Peters, captain and scorers in the 1966 World Cup final victory over West Germany.  We cherish those FA Cup wins in 1975 and 1980, the latter featuring Trevor Brooking’s headed winner against Arsenal, when we were having a spell in the Second Division, as it then was.  We celebrate the “Boys of 86” – MacAvennie, Cottee, Devonshire, Martin, Parkes, Stewart – who secured West Ham’s greatest ever finish: third in the First Division, only four points off the winners, Liverpool. We relish the hard men like Billy Bonds and Julian Dicks who played for West Ham with their hearts and souls. We love the artists: crazy Paolo di Canio, the majestic Brooking, Devo flying down the left wing, the languid Ian Bishop, tricky, unfulfilled Joe Cole. And we enjoyed the recent passionate cameo from Carlos Tevez, good enough to save us from relegation (though costly afterwards).

We love and cherish those good moments and great characters, because the present is usually rather less uplifting.  Recent years have mostly been struggle against relegation from the Premier league, or desperate attempts to get back into it.  Reckless financial decisions have put the club on a precarious footing, although the current owners, Davids Gold and Sullivan, with Karren Brady, seem to be doing a good job to stabilise the club. The controversy over whether West Ham will move into the Olympic Stadium, for me, is a distraction.  It should be fantastic if we do, but if we don’t, hey, Upton Park is pretty good.

So here we are, second in the Championship, playing Burnley.  A nailed-on home win, surely?

It all started well.  We looked so much better in the first half, dominating possession, creating what chances there were. There wasn’t much end product, but it was shaping up for a good push in the second half.  Hopefully like the previous week, when after Derby shaded the first half with West Ham only drawing level just before half time, the second half was West Ham bulldozing their way to a 3-1 victory.

I liked the way it was being played around in midfield.  The West Ham academy boys, Mark Noble and Jack Collinson, were running the show.  It was a mystery why Julian Faubert, the right side midfielder, was playing as a second striker off Carlton Cole – and not very well. But it was OK.  The defence was solid – with Abdoulaye Faye an absolute man mountain.

Burnley had clearly come for the 0-0, but it was only a matter of time…

And so it came to pass – early in the second half, Kevin Nolan took a good through ball from Carlton Cole and lobbed it cleanly into the net.  The start of the deluge.  Celebration time.

Problem was, the team seemed to think that too. They celebrated for way too long for a start. Then they got casual in defence, not moving it forward quickly enough.  A throw in was conceded on the right.  Ex-Hammer Junior Stanislas then swung in a cross and Chris McCann of Burnley headed it in, unopposed. 1-1.

Surely that would wake up the Hammers.  Well it did, but on a rare foray,  Burnley got a corner on the left. Cross came over, again a static West Ham defence, ball nodded in by Sam Vokes. 1-2! Unbelievable.

West Ham huffed and puffed after that, had some near missses, fluffed a couple of absolute sitters, but the atmosphere was strange.  The crowd wasn’t rousing West Ham to a late victory. It wasn’t even moaning that much.  It was as if, after going 2-1 down, so against the run of play, everyone felt that it was just going to be one of those days. It all fizzled out, three points absolutely chucked away.  Any honest Burnley fan would admit they got away with daylight robbery, but then, if you don’t take your chances, it can always happen.

I sense too, especially after reading the admirable fanzine, “OLAS” (Over Land and Sea), that the fans who watch West Ham week in, week out, are not entirely convinced by the Sam Allardyce project.  Fanzines always grumble, but I got the feeling that they can’t quite believe the team is winning so many games with unconvincing performances. So the confidence isn’t there yet, not in the crowd.  They are all still waiting for things to go wrong.  That is the state of most football fans, but West Ham’s recent history gives good cause for such a feeling.

I’m actually quite confident that West Ham will press on and win the Championship this season.  I’m willing to put today down as an aberration, one of those days when the ball just wouldn’t go in the net. I think Sam Allardyce is an impressive manager (and I was a doubter, I admit) and knows what needs to be done to get back into the Premier League.  I think the quality and depth of the squad must be the best in the division, and so it is a matter of making sure the confidence and organisation is there.  Big Sam is a master of that.

And Southampton lost today, too, against bottom side Doncaster. So, looking up, nothing has changed. Just don’t look down!  You can get vertigo.

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Sportsthoughts (3)

Posted on December 2, 2011 by John S

The Euro draw

The draw for the European championships next summer took place today.  Sighs of relief all round at England’s draw: France, Ukraine (joint hosts with Poland) and Sweden.  Far from easy, but worst case scenario with the seeding would have been Spain, Portugal and France. Group of Death (there must always be one and it usually involves Holland) is… Holland, Germany, Portugal and Denmark.  Not easy for Ireland either: Spain, Italy and Croatia.  A group of near-death.  And then for completeness, the Group of Life, or maybe, of the East:  Poland, Greece, Russia, Czech Republic.

Can we qualify from our group? Should surely, but here are some grim stats from the Opta Joe tweet (which I recommend) :

  • France are unbeaten in their last five games against England. They won four.
  • England’s win ratio against Sweden is only 32%.
  • Ukraine are the only team to beat England in the last two qualifying campaigns. And they are the hosts.
  • England have never won their opening game of a European Championship.  Lost four, drew three.  This time it’s France.

Opta Joe likes to end with a single word that sums up the stat.  Put these four together. Stuffed.

But if we do get through to the quarter final, is it an exit to Spain or Italy?  Please not Ireland! It’ll be on penalties. Probably Spain, assuming they top their group and we come second in ours.   Saw an Opta stat the other day. England have been in seven penalty shoot-outs. Won 1, lost 6.  But the one win, in Euro 96, was Spain.  And we did beat them the other day… Victorious!

Welcome back Martin O’Neill

While it’s always sad to see a football manager being sacked – always the scapegoat for players’ poor performance – it’s good to see Martin O’Neill back in the Premier League. I like his passion for the game – it’s in his eyes – his fierce insight, his humour.  I like the way he gets the best out of teams, gets them playing football which may not be the most beautiful, but is exciting.  He plays simple lines, usually 4-4-2, making the most of the all the pitch, breaking fast, staying organised.  A Northern Irishman playing a classic English style, the style that won English teams – Liverpool, Villa and of course, Forest, the team he played for under Brian Clough – a lot of European Cups in the 70s and 80s.  Is the style outdated now? Well, it’s out of favour with the big teams at the moment, but they often revert to it when desperate for a goal towards the end of a game.  Its main weakness, if the midfield stretches too wide, is that the centre of midfield can be overrun (see English national team on many occasions).  But played intelligently, with the second striker dropping back where necessary – in that hole –  and at least one wide man tucking in when necessary, then it’s not actually so different to any of the in-vogue formations.

O’Neill is now criticised for his time at Villa.  Three sixth places in a row.  The fans would probably give anything for that now.  Had there been a bit more money at the club, he probably would have been in with a shout of a fourth place finish. Like Everton, Tottenham in recent times, maybe even Newcastle this season.

How will he do with Sunderland, where he knows there is no more money for players?  Well, Steve Bruce has bought a lot of new players, and most arrived with good reputations, so a bit of organisation, a bit of motivation and I’m sure they’ll turn it round.  I’d go for 10th place this season.

I feel a bit sorry for Steve Bruce.  He’s not well liked amongst fans – ex Man Utd, whinges a lot about refs, has been quite disloyal to sides in the past.  But listen to him talk, and he’s very honest, clearly in love with the game, a good man. The media has been saying he hadn’t moved with the times – the new formations and tactics, the technology on the training pitch, understanding his players as individuals, and so on.  I don’t know how true that is, but there did seem a pattern (before this season) of Sunderland starting well then falling away. Fitness issues? Motivation and strategy when the going gets tough? Hope he gets another club, anyway – the Championship might suit him best.

England rugby – don’t blow the inheritance

The revelations from the leaked report on World Cup failure last week were pretty stunning by any standards. Of course they were selectively reported – the good stuff, if there was any, was conspicuous by its absence.  The players’ disdain for the coaches (except Graham Rowntree), the claims of poor preparation, the favouring of established players (especially those who’d played with Johnno in the 2003 World Cup), the focus on money and endorsements, the general lack of discipline, was staggering.  After all that time preparing together, how could that have happened? Or maybe because of all that time together? What screamed out was lack of leadership: both at the top, but also within the playing ranks.  And lack of self awareness – everything was someone else’s fault.  We, the viewers, could see the lack of leadership on the pitch at the World Cup.  It was surprising.  Now we can understand why.

So Johnno went, but no replacement yet, and probably only a stop gap until the summer. No surprise, as the leadership at Twickenham is in disarray.  There is no-one, really, with the authority to appoint a new manager, or head coach, or Director of Rugby, or whatever the bloke who picks the team and gets them to play is called. So we will wait until the summer and then get someone like the South African, Nick Mallett. That will be fine, if he is backed up by strong coaches and is supported properly by the blazers – with no-one briefing against him the moment England lose a game, as they will.

The opportunity must be taken to sort out management at all levels, because there are so many good young players waiting to step up. Just to take Quins: George Lowe, Jordan Turner-Hall, Sam Smith, Seb Stegman, Joe Gray, Joe Marler, Luke Wallace, Chris Robshaw, to name a few. And not to forget Danny Care, Ugo Monye, Mike Brown.  In fact, convert Nick Evans to an Englishman and play the whole Quins team! All the top teams could probably roll off a similar list.  Some of the players mentioned may not be quite good (or big) enough in the end, but there is such rich talent out there.  Please don’t waste it Twickers!

Gary Speed

It’s hard to comprehend what might have compelled Gary Speed, the Wales football manager, to take his own life.  Outwardly he had so much going for him.  It really did look like he was giving the Welsh team a new lease of life, with players like Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey leading the way.  I don’t really want to know what caused that terribly sad outcome.  I hope it stays private, with his family and close friends.  Chances are that at some stage something will find its way onto the internet and into the press – the journos will only be doing their job. I’d rather, though, that we just remembered the excellent midfield player who was brilliant in the air, who won a Premiership winners’ medal with Leeds and played 86 times for his country. And the up and coming manager who was beginning to make his mark in Wales.

The outpouring of grief and shock, the eloquent tributes, the flowers, all showed the esteem in which he was held.  But it spoke of something else too: the sense of community amongst footballers and fans, which is so often overshadowed by the venality of today’s game at the top level; and a sense of awakened understanding that even rich, successful footballers can have problems. Only the day before Gary Speed’s death, the Guardian’s “Secret Footballer” was writing about it; Stan Collymore has been tweeting about his own experience.  Footballers-are-human-beings-shock, not just the arrogant semi-gods and yobs that they are mostly portrayed as – images they often encourage. Maybe something good will emerge from all of this: a greater humilty and sympathy on all sides? Oh, I doubt it, but one can but hope.


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The agonies of the rubbish golfer

Posted on December 1, 2011 by John S

Last Thursday and Friday I had my two annual outings on to the golf course, part of a get together with a few friends.

I love golf and I hate it. When you hit a beautiful drive off the tee – it can happen  – or a lovely five iron from the fairway, or a wicked chip out of the bunker, or a fifteen foot putt into the hole, all is well with the world. But the rest of the time…  aaaaagh!

Thursday was at Kirtlington Golf Club, a few miles out of Oxford. A newish course, not too many hazards, and some lovely views of the rolling hills and woods in the area. It was just me and my mate Dave.  Usually there is another, Jon, but he was plying his wares at a conference.  We started with a solid full English breakfast – very good value at about £6 – and hit the tee just before 11am. First shot since last year… topped and sliced the ball, went about ten yards to the right! Recovered, staggered along the fairway, massively overhit a few putts and got a ten. Oh dear. Next hole, smashed the tee shot as far as the ladies’ tee, about twenty yards ahead.  Again fought own incompetence and managed a ten.  This was not looking good. It got better, thankfully, and around the turn (holes 8 and 9) I managed a par and a bogey.  I then hit another dip and started to lose hope.  I had a cold and started to feel that made things impossible. Then, amazingly, I hit a decent tee shot and somehow the feeling of cold receded. I got another par and finished feeling like golf was quite an easy game.

In the end I scored 122.  A bit worse than usual, but not much. Dave was on a roll.  He got an 86, his best ever.  He proceeded to tell everyone he talked to about it. I would have done the same!

It’s the ultimate mind game, golf.  Every shot needs preparation, poise. The head must stay still. You stare at that little white ball and think, surely I can hit it.  But half the time your body says no, I cannot do it. The mind has to win.  Sometimes it does, often it doesn’t. If the head goes up, if you chase the ball, you are stuffed. You top it and it goes a few yards. Or you carve a huge lump out of the fairway, only incidentally moving the ball along.

But sometimes it all clicks, and you think, that was brilliant, why can’t I do that every time? And the next shot comes up and you think, what did I do right last time, and you’ve forgotten.

But it’s alright, it’s still fun, most of the time…

On Friday we travelled down to a course on the outskirts of Cheltenham, called Lilley Brook. A really beautiful setting.  The first twelve holes gently undulating, with some lovely trees.  Lovely to look at, that is.  Hell to play alongside – or amidst.  It’s as if they and the ball had a magnetic attraction. The start of the course wasn’t even that difficult.  But my shot making was even worse than at Kirtlington.  What was grim was that I knew that it got really hard when at hole 13 you climb up a steep hill and start to play holes where the moment you go off course you can slide fifty yards down a hill.

I was just all over the place.  My cold  started to feel worse.  I told myself it didn’t matter, it was just a bit of fun, but the frustration grew. I took 76 on the first 9, the easy bit! I stopped caring and actually had a good couple of holes on the outward nine.  Until we hit the hills…  The scenery is fantastic: wonderful views over Cheltenham.  But you look ahead as the exhaustion creeps in and think, how on earth am I going to get to the green?

As we ended I was beaten, beaten up. Jon, who was keeping the scores, announced them.  145.  My worst ever, by some way.  73 over par! No wonder I was knackered – I’d played twice as many shots as a scratch golfer would. But I was strangely relieved – I hadn’t gone over 150.

That evening I had a very sore right forearm.  All that fairway digging.  The forearm takes the impact as you slam your five iron into the turf.

There are all sorts of factors in play: only playing once a year, age, lack of talent, psychological deficiency, illness (this time). It’s so challenging!  But, you know, I’ll be back next year, looking forward to it in a bizarre kind of way.

I did have a lesson years ago.  At the time I used to hook the ball (to the left) a lot. I once lobbed the ball over some trees protecting a road from the course and heard the crunch of ball on car roof.  The professional said, looking at my positioning of my feet, that it was impossible to hook the ball.  Well I proved him wrong! He pointed out about five things wrong with the way I played and I decided I was beyond redemption.  I settled for mediocrity.  That meant scores of just over 100 in younger life.  It creeps up every year. Now something like 115 is satisfactory.  I hope the Lilley Brook experience was an exception, but I have to be prepared for the worst!

Doesn’t actually matter in the grand scheme of things. But it’s so annoying, especially when after three attempts you hit that perfect shot. Why can’t I do that all the time?!

I’ll be back, next year, hoping for something better, but enjoying the whole experience. Sort of.

Love and hate.

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Sportsthoughts (2)

Posted on November 22, 2011 by John S

Managerial Angst Part 1 – the Premier League frenzy

It’s November and the speculation about the futures of Premier League managers is in full flow.  Of course the futures of those at the bottom – Steve Kean at Blackburn and Roberto Martinez at Wigan in particular – are vulnerable; but it’s the fate of some of those at the top which is the more intriguing.

First we have “AVB”, Andre Villas Boas. Brought to Chelsea from Porto with much fanfare and expense. The man who would finally turn Chelsea into the new Barcelona. Hasn’t worked yet, but might if he is given time, but will he be?  The successive losses – QPR away 0-1, ending up with 9 men; 3-5 at home to Arsenal; 1-2 at home to Liverpool – have clearly created shock waves at the Bridge.  It looks like there are six or even seven teams this year competing seriously for the top four places and Champions League entry. As John Motson – good ol’ “Motty” – commented on the Radio Five Live Monday Night Club tonight, we have the bizarre situation where there is more interest in next year’s Champion’s League contest than the current one, which is only four games in. Proof that the real excitement in sport is the anticipation rather than the reality.

So AVB is trying to introduce a Barcelona/Porto pressing game with the defence up on half way and much of the real defending being done in midfield as soon as you lose the ball. But it isn’t functioning too well just yet, and the slow-paced John Terry and slightly crazed David Luiz in defence, and the ponderous John Obi Mikel in midfield, are being exposed.  I’m sure if they stick at it it will come together – Chelsea are a formidable machine.  But will Abramovich panic and bring Guus Hiddink back, now that he has been released by Turkey?

And talking of wanting to be Barcelona, this was Arsene Wenger’s vision too.  He has come tantalisingly close.  Arsenal were one Niklas Bendtner poor touch from dumping Barca out of the Champion’s league last year. The margins are so fine: last season is declared a disaster by Arsenal fans.  But it could have been magnificent.

Wenger’s vision has been shattered by the forces of very big money. I hope I’m wrong, but doubt I am.  Over the past few years, the Emirates Stadium years, the business model has revolved around developing young players, ultimately turning them into a prize-winning unit.  But the heart has been ripped out of the vision by the departures of Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri. Fabregas at least had the familial ties to Barcelona: he was always going to go back at some point.  But Nasri’s move reflected the new realities – the Man City oil money. The massive wages that Arsenal can’t, or won’t afford. Nasri wasn’t cheap when he was bought from Marseille, but he was still part of the development policy.  Now the question is, who’s next?  Robin van Persie, for a last big pay day to City?  Alex Song to Barca? Every Arsenal fan must live in fear that they have become a very high class feeder club.

And the interview that Wenger had with the French sports paper, L’Equipe, which was reported in the British papers this weekend, gave us the first hints that maybe Arsene has accepted that his way of doing things won’t work.  So what will he do?  Leave Arsenal, accepting that his vision can’t be achieved?  Start using the money from 60,000 punters per home game to buy seasoned pros? Who knows.  But there is a fin de siecle feel – even as the team are doing really well and are fighting back into that coveted top four.

Tell you what I’d like. Arsene for next England manager.  Knows English football. Massively respected.  Plays the game the right way. Thierry Henry and Patrick Viera and Lee Dixon as his assistants! Fantasy football. Dream on…

And to complete the London triumvirate of angst, ‘Arry at Spurs.  Heart problems, accusations of tax evasion, just as Spurs are playing better than they have for many a year.  They went third tonight with a routine win over Aston Villa. Gareth Bale torturing the Brummies, Scott Parker and Luca Modric bossing midfield.  As a West Ham fan, I’m supposed to dislike Tottenham, but I never have.  I used to go to White Hart Lane quite a lot in the early eighties and enjoyed their stylish but flakey football.  Not unlike the Hammers, just a bit more successful. They’ve ditched the flakiness for now, but if Harry goes, what will happen?  Will they blow it just as the real step up beckons?  If I were a Spurs fan that would be my worry.

Managerial Angst Part 2 – did Johnno have to go?

England’s rugby team had a very disappointing World Cup.  There was so much potential: Flood, Foden, Ashton, Youngs, Croft, Lawes, Tuilagi.  A youthful spirit mixed in with the hardened pros.  Surely semi finals at least.  But it all went horribly wrong.  After some of the vibrant displays of the past year – trashing the Aussies a couple of times, winning the Six Nations – the team seemed to retreat into its crab-like shell when the competition got going.  The adventure went out of the team and nerves took over. Endless penalties conceded, balls knocked on at crucial moments.  Panic rather than belief.

What happened?  Why did an excellent team bottle it?  Repercussions from dwarf-throwing bars and general lary behaviour didn’t help, but surely that didn’t do for them.  They basically lost their confidence in their own ability. And the Management – Martin Johnson in the lead – seemed to revert to the old-style Leicester up-the-jumper approach, which Leicester don’t even play anymore.  Crush the opposition with forward power then turn it on.  Worked in 2003.  Only problem was that our forwards weren’t powerful or quick or clever enough.  They were good, but not superior to other teams.  So the tactics concentrated on areas where the team wasn’t dominant and didn’t exploit the aspects where we were strong – the pace of Aston and Foden, for example.

Easy to say from the armchair, but it all felt like a hugely missed opportunity. England probably should have made it to the final, most likely then to lose to New Zealand. That would have been honourable.

So the knee-jerk instinct afterwards was to say Johnno should go, and he did resign this week. But should he have gone?  The examples of Clive Woodward (failed 1999, won World Cup 2003) and Graham Henry (failed 2007, won 2011) have been wheeled out as evidence that everyone deserves a second chance.  The experience of the first attempt providing valuable learning for the second.  Instinctively I feel that is right and would have been happy to see Johnno stay.  He probably shouldn’t have been appointed in the first place, but now all the experience has been thrown away and we start again.  Maybe he would never have embraced the new attacking spirit which prevails in much of top level rugby, but we will never know.

So who replaces him?  I don’t really have a strong view, except please don’t let it be Conor O’Shea at Quins.  We need him!

And whoever it is, can they rehabilitate Danny Cipriani, an incredible talent going to waste?

The happy days continue… errrr!

Quins won away to Gloucester in the Heineken Cup (28-9) and hardly anyone ever wins at Gloucester; West Ham beat Coventry away 2-1, after going behind, the Arse beat Norwich 2-1 away.  It’s all going so very well.  Waiting for the fall!

Future pub quiz question- who scored England’s 2000th international goal?

Daniel Majstorovic (og).

Gareth Barry’s header deflected in.

England 1 Sweden 0, 15 November 2011.

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